Tai Chi Straight Sword Love

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What's This?

What's this?
Stare at my emotions played out across
The screen
Just a spectator inside my body
Describing my emotions: I want to scream I want to cry
But oh, wait the
Tears
Are not even under my control
Then before me the blackness seemed
To move, then swallow me
Not reacting until someone tells me
Crying out
Asked so often for You to refine me
But maybe, I need You to refind me
I don't know what this is
Anymore