Tai Chi Straight Sword Love



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Elizabeth Lynn Rakphongphairoj


January 18, 1987




Santa Barbara, California


Student, artist, worshipper, web and graphics designer, wife, model


Marketing, Advertising, Research, Data Analysis


UCSB, political science (international relations) major, pre-law



Spoken Languages:

English, Chinese, French, Thai

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I'm a little girl, third generation displaced. I find myself a floater between worlds, having returned to the homeland of my dreams to find myself alienated; perhaps it's my own doing. But I love - cynical of the present, but ever idealistic about the future. It is only because I can thank Him for pulling me out of that from whence I came. Complementing my growing disappointment of the modern world is my conviction that He blesses every new day, and there is hope. If it weren't so, I would have been a lost cause long ago. I ask for little admiration. I just hope for respect and aim for humility. Faith gives me a reason. Let us be humble toward each other because we love and respect each other as fellow human beings, and because the best way to show love is willingness to serve your fellow human being. I have wasted too much time not realising that we are but strangers in this world, and I am not more worthy of love and respect than the next person, because all achievements in this lifetime mean nothing. So let me begin again; each day is a battle against my own pride.

My mommy gave me vocabulary as a littler child so that now I still know the fundamental truths and beauty that I saw then. If a man knows only as much as he remembers, I'm glad I was given a medium in which I could record these things. I realise she wishes for me the self that was at seven; in my mind I am still seven - my ideal age, when I had the vocabulary (her gift) to read Dickens and the innocence not to be corrupted by what I saw. The faith of children is admirable and I wish for their well of limitless hope. Even in their prayer for a specific object, they can remain somehow selfless, neither expecting their wishes to be granted, nor blaming God and carrying resentment when they are not. There are few things that can distract them from the awe they carry for God when they realise that He keeps all promises.

Many people float in and out through my life - I don't know when they or I will recur again but I am grateful to them. Thoughts trickling light touches down my senses whisper the constant reminder that no matter the circumstance, j'ai encore des amis ici.

Give me a song to sing and I'll be happy. It had been mostly the influence of my best friend, Eric. I miss him. I found in other places, time slowed down and it was easier to communicate in words more than actions, comfortable silences more than words. We found it easy to sit in silence side by side, and to finish melodies off for each other rather than sentences. Often we didn't even know what we were singing. It hardly mattered.

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